what’s the password
I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.
And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…
this will come in handy one day
ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2013: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101
Reblogging for future reference..
Barry, can you but in a floating burger with eyes, smiling, gently floating right to left across the screen.
Thank you Barry
there’s a tradition where if you step on the campus seal in the middle of the quad you won’t graduate in 4 years unless you touch a statue of our school mascot (a goat that’s is like 60 feet away across an open field) within 10 seconds and I just watched a senior accidentally step on it, holler “SHIT” at the top of his lungs, drop his bags, and break into a dead sprint across the lawn. I love college
fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated
Do you ever have that outfit you wear so often you think
"Yes, this is the outfit I’d be drawn in everyday if I was a cartoon"
a bubble freezing at -10º F degrees
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER VIRTUALLY WITNESSED
degrees fahrenheit degrees
this gif is an accurate summary of my life
THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN LAST WEEK AT MY LOCAL KMART. YES, THAT IS A SEALED VHS TAPE OF JIMMY NEUTRON THE MOVIE, IN 2014, AT KMART, SITTING NEXT TO DVDS AND BLU-RAYS, PRICED AT $8.99
To give perspective, this film was released on VHS in 2002 and has been sitting unopened in a Kmart store for 12 years, longer than children now in middle school.
Plain proof that no one does inventory or gives a shit at any Kmart anywhere. Someone could probably live in Kmart and have no one notice.
In 2001, I did an experiment for school about the idea of living in a big-box store like this. I selected a busy 24hr Meijer, which is a midwest-only combination of Marts both K and Wal. I entered the store on a lovely friday afternoon, and didn’t leave the store until the following sunday evening. I read the entire magazine section, played all of the demos of the games in the electronics section, and beat minesweeper on my phone innumerable times. I ate at the pizza parlour they’d just installed, and slept on the display furniture. I wandered around the racks during the day, bored out of my skull. I considered buying frozen burritos and asking one of the employees if they had a breakroom where I could microwave them, but that felt like it wouldn’t truly answer the question if someone could live in a Meijer; I’d be using resources that weren’t public.
The only time I was ever asked if I needed any help was on sunday morning around 8am, and then it was only waking me up to ask me if I was drunk and had wandered in that night and fell asleep on their displays. I said, “no, I’m fine, I’m just trying this futon.” and was left alone.
The people that work there really don’t care.
u lived in a k-mart
This is the most magical thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading
you deserve a book deal and a movie just for the phrase ‘marts both k and wal’
(Sorry to add commentary to this already amazing post)
As a former employee of Kmart I 100% completely believe someone could get away with living in a Kmart for at least a few days, if not a week (although I think by then you’d get caught). I closed the store most of the time and it was generally just a manager and me. We rarely stayed in the store longer than closing time (I was required to clock out right when the store closed, or very shortly thereafter). I was told that I had to check the bathrooms—but I very, very rarely did as there was so much to be done in that last hour of work. I never saw anyone take inventory and rarely, raaaarely caught people actually stocking the store (it remains a mystery to me this day as to when the fuck the store would get stocked). There were so many corners to hide in that sometimes I’d just hide in the electronics section to avoid working, especially towards the end of my shift, because I’d get overwhelmed with everything.
Also, no employee at my store gave a single fuck. Literally no one gave a SINGLE fuck. When managers would catch me slacking off it’d be a half hearted “hey, do something.”
I also noticed on many occasions that there were open boxes of food hiding behind displays and sometimes that shit didn’t smell very good. It often felt like I was the only one who looked around.
Tl;dr if you’re bored, go try to live in a Kmart, I bet it’s really simple